Taylor Swift and Me

On my way downtown during my college years, I got the best cat-call of my life. A guy (wearing an Eagles ball cap) saw me from across the street and called “Hey, T. Swift!” It made my already-stressful day pretty great, and confirmed that Taylor Swift and I are indeed twins.

But if you need proof, this is Taylor Swift.

And this is me.

Aside from our matching blue eyes and blonde(ish) hair we both love tea...

 

Baking extremely complicated cookies…

 

Taking selfies with our girls…

And have completely manageable obsessions with cats.

Despite our (as of yet) unconfirmed twinship, I haven’t always ranked myself among the other Swifties of the world. To be honest, there have been times when I haven’t really identified with my musical look-alike.

Like most millennials, I first heard Taylor Swift when she identified as a country singer, singing about the boys in high school who led her on and her dreams of getting together with her crush who was currently dating another girl. I could relate in one sense. I was single, pining after my friend’s older brother (which never worked out, btw), but when the dreamboy’s girlfriend was described as wearing short skirts and high heels, I balked. I’ve never been the sneakers/t-shirt girl until recently, and I felt like it was a stereotype, like these girly girls were the sluts who stole the perfect guy and flaunted him in front of everyone. High school me tended to skip “You Belong With Me” and play “The Best Day.” As a former bully victim who was saved by her protective mom, this was, and still is, my favorite track on “Fearless.”

“Speak Now” more or less echoed my first college crush, which lasted almost three years. Three years too long. The guy in question played with my emotions more than the guy in “Dear John,” yet I thought he was the one I would finally end up with. When he finally walked out of my life midway through junior year, I felt like I was in pieces: my heart, my trust in all guys was shattered. In a sense, it was the best thing to happen to me. Much like Taylor, I submerged all my focus and time in my friendships with other women who didn’t define themselves by their relationships, or lack thereof. Those months following the breakup with my “Dear John” equivalent were the healthiest I’d been in years.

“Red” never fully resonated with my life, though I count it as my favorite T. Swift album to date. The catchy, hurts-your-ears-every-time-you-hear-it “We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together” was a great confidence booster when my crush, or a friend’s ex, would call up wanting to catch up. As was “22,” which is and will always be my twenties-theme song.

When Miss Swift launched her first pop album, I was skeptical. Taylor was a country singer in my mind, even if her music was more pop/country, and I thought this was just an attempt to edge into pop genre. However, “1989” turned out to be the most relatable I’ve found Taylor Swift.

August 2015, when “Shake It Off” was released, was the beginning of a confusing fall semester. I was entering my final year of college and felt a mix of anticipation and slight trepidation knowing I’d be leaving a great period of my life. I had just seen my former crush since the night he walked out on my life, and shortly after I learned that people I thought I could count on were blaming me for the breakup. I was going through another breakup with a college friend, one which sadly ended unresolved. I heard echoes of these struggles in “Out of the Woods,” “Blank Space,” and “Bad Blood.” Even though it hurt trying to keep my head up against the rumors and back-stabbing, it helped knowing I wasn’t the only one.

“Welcome to New York” is the song I associate most with spring break, when my two best girlfriends and I went to Baltimore and the beginning of a new stage: self-acceptance. I realized that some people weren’t meant to stay in my life forever. I had to let go of them, and shake off the rumors that were being told behind my back. I focused on the people who I knew I could trust: a few trusted girlfriends, my family, and some guys who I knew I could just have fun with and be friends with. I began hanging out with one in particular, David, on study-breaks in coffee shops and found that his sense of humor could keep me smiling for days. I was so happy to have a friendship with him that I didn’t even realize I was falling for him until a month before I graduated. Fortunately, the possibility of a long-distance relationship didn’t worry David, and the past ten months with him have been the best of my life.

Also, I find it hilarious that I realized I’d fallen for David at our favorite coffee shop on a Wednesday night, when my trust in love began again. Coincidence much?

So, thank you, Taylor Swift. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Xoxo,

Victoria 

Happy New Year!

Dear readers,

I want to start with a New Year's wish for 2015, bestowed on us by the fantastically imaginative Neil Gaiman:

Be kind to yourself in the year ahead.

Remember to forgive yourself, and to forgive others. It's too easy to be outraged these days, so much harder to change things, to reach out, to understand.

Try to make your time matter: minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves, with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things, or time you spent waiting to begin.

Meet new people and talk to them. Make new things and show them to people who might enjoy them.

Hug too much. Smile too much. And when you can, love.



Looking back on 2015, it was an emotional ride.

When I began the concept for this post a few hours ago, en route from North Carolina back to Virginia, I couldn't see anything positive. I could only see the emotional challenges I've been struggling with, the realization that I haven't been kind to myself for most of this year. The fear of still not finding a job in my field eight months after graduating. The frustration of moving back in with my parents and the conflict of opinions that has ignited, both between myself and family and within my own mind.

Much of this has caused my long absence from this blog as I struggled to figure out where to go, both physically and in my life. I've been scared of allowing anyone to know what's been going on in my life. However, isolation (even an absence of writing) only makes things worse.

So, yes this past week has been hardest time I've been through in years. But this week doesn't define 2015, which has had its incredible highs to counter the low points.

I've finally discovered a confidence and outgoing personality I never knew was in me. I've used it in making new connections in the job market, which will hopefully pay off in the coming year!

Despite what I'm going through now, I have immense dreams for the future which, regardless of the current situation, I will always believe to be achievable.

I've become an alumna of University of Mary Washington, the best school I could have chosen for my undergrad, and am finally moving ahead with my love of fantasy writing (five chapters in, countless more to go).

It's cliche, I know, but the best part of 2015 was developing some crazy feelings for my best friend, being terrified that I might lose him if I admitted them, and discovering that he felt the same way for me. These past (almost) nine months have been extraordinary spending them with the most amazing guy in the world. I can't imagine a better highlight to this year.

 And like all of you, I am so excited for the coming year and all it has to bring. Let's hope 2016 is a great one.

Cheers and love to you all,

Victoria

Validity of the Fictional World

Despite my admission that I am more a mental than physical traveler, I have been making my way through destinations that take me far from my small-town apartment, which explains why this blog is so behind!

Two Mondays ago, my dad and I took a roadtrip through a hectic part of the country called North Jersey so I could check out a potential graduate program at William Paterson University. After experiencing several close collisions within the town of Paterson (which I would compare to downtown DC), I'm not completely sure which direction to take: grad school or the work environment. Hopefully that decision will be made before the end of the year.

What inspired me most about this trip was the two hours I spent in a small classroom, looped into a half-circle with eight graduate students and a professor from the Creative and Professional Writing Program, listening to the students present their mock-lesson plans for an Intro to Creative Writing Fiction class. Now, nonfiction is more my forte (any fiction I write is so heavily based in past experiences that it severely challenges the genre) but the methods by which these students broke down the elements of creating believable characters could even work as to a checklist when writing about actual people.



The one exercise that stuck out most to me was a challenge to avoid writing black-and-white characters, the characters who are either completely good or completely evil. For every good quality, the student/writer would have to create a negative trait, and vice versa. It's definitely a great way to add some realism to fictional characters, because as much as we'd like to believe, there is no black-and-white in the human condition. All the best people have flaws. And as much as we'd like to believe otherwise, evil people have at least a tiny ray of positive nature.

I won't focus on the latter because this is a heated, and for some, close to home issue given the recent terrorist attacks. But this realization really made me stop and think about it. Sure, we'd all like to believe that we're doing the right thing and yes, we have faults, but doesn't everyone? And then there are the people we just can't stand. Not inherently bad people, but they have hurt me in the past and it's hard to see beyond that pain. Across the board, however, we're pretty similar in the realm of between positive and negative personas.

I played around with this list, placing myself in the role of the character, and tried to balance it out. Here's what I came up with:

Creative                                                                           Insecure about my abilities
Sets goals high so I can challenge myself                       Easily distracted
Tries to put others first                                                    Has difficulty getting beyond hurts in the past
Adventurous                                                                    Afraid of the unknown
Passionate about what I love                                           Has difficulty getting beyond my own POV

This is a great challenge to take as a writer, but also as a regular human being. Being a writer doesn't just mean creating stories and characters: it forces you to have a deeper understanding of the human condition and to convey that through your writing.

I have a lot of people to thank for this understanding, especially my creative writing professors: Colin Rafferty, Jon Pineda and Warren Rochelle. Thanks so much for your support and instruction - I promise to make the most of it!

Cheers,
Victoria

An Open Letter to My Little Sister

Dear little sis,

It's going to be a while before you read this, and maybe even longer before you understand why I'm writing this to you now. Just think of this letter as what I wish someone had told me before I became an adult.

I look at you now, my precious, impulsive baby sister, and it makes me nostalgic. I remember when I was seven, when my biggest concerns were wondering what would happen in the next chapter of my Nancy Drew book. Or hoping Mum wouldn't notice the mess in my closet so I could go play at my friend's house. (Don't try to trick Mum by the way; she'll always find out, and as you know already, the punishments aren't pretty). When I thought about growing up, I dreamed of being a vet (because I loved animals) and of being an artist (because I loved to draw).

I didn't think growing up would hurt. I didn't expect the boys I liked to break my heart, and never thought that finding the right job would keep me awake at night. When I was seven, tears were meant for sad story endings and frustrations of not being able to make choices because I was too little to do so. I wish it had stayed that way. How was I to know that making my own choices would hurt so much? It was so much easier when Mum and Dad would tell me what to do. And nothing frustrates me so much as hearing "it's your choice." I know you hate it when I smile when you throw a fit because someone is making choices for you, but I wish I could be back there. I wish I could relive seven again because there is so much I would change.

But this isn't about what I wish I could redo. It's what I hope you will do as you grow up.

I hope you will discover your own dreams and fight for them. Never let anyone tell you anything is impossible because you can do anything you set your mind and heart to. If you suddenly have no idea what you want to do with your life, that's okay too. We all go through those moments. No matter how much you feel like you can't achieve your goals. That's when I want to believe even more in yourself, in your abilities. Remember, there are so many people who believe you can do this.

And when life doesn't work out the way you planned, it's okay too. I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but life does have it's disappointments. You might lose friends. You might not get into the college of your dreams. Your heart may be broken. When that happens, you might feel like life isn't worth going through. But you're not alone. I've been there. Our mom and dad have been there. It's moments like these when you'll learn who your true friends are. You'll discover what drives you forward when the boy you thought was everything walks away. As much as those moments will hurt, and maybe even crush you, you'll come out a stronger person who looks at the world in a different way.

You're a great girl who's going to experience amazing moments in the future. Sometimes, in trying to discover who you want to be you can lose track of the person you already are. It's so easy to be distracted by who your friends want you to be, but if these people are truly your friends, they'll love you for YOU, not for the person you think you should be. So trust yourself. Trust in the people who love you. Because they will always be there to love and support you.

If there was one thing I wish I could protect you from it's from letting boys break your heart. Yes, there are some great guys out there, but before you find them you're going to have deal with a lot of guys who will hurt you terribly. Even though they're not important, they'll make your life miserable. When you see that one cute guy talking to another girl, it's like he just pulled out your heart and crushed it. The worst part is knowing that this shouldn't hurt so much so you try to force a smile and pretend everything is okay. I know it's not. And even though it might make you feel silly, just cry it out. We've all been there and it's okay.

I hope you won't let this hurt shut out the good guys. I hope you'll keep holding out for the right guy. The one who stares at you speechless because he can't believe you're his girl. Who tells you you're beautiful more times than either of you can keep count. I hope you find someone who waits up with you the nights you can't sleep and who you don't feel like you have to hide your true self from. I want you to be with someone who you consider your best friend and who you can't imagine not sharing the craziest and most simple adventures with.

Most of all, I hope we'll be best friends in the future. You'll always be my first little girl, my baby sister. But I know we're going to have so much fun as you grow up. I can't wait to take you on your first sisters-only shopping spree and stay up late watching movies. I want to be the one you call up when life is tough and you need a shoulder to cry on. I can't wait to see you graduate from high school, from college and discover your own passions. I want you to have the best life in the world, and I want to be there with you through the best moments, the worst and the life changing experiences you'll encounter.

I love you, baby sis.

New York, New York

A lot can change within a few months.

Last spring, I was set on completing my graduate degree at Bangor University in Wales and making multiple side trips to London, Ireland and the surrounding UK highlights. But, as fate would have it, I chose not to go to Wales and am instead writing fashion reviews from my apartment in Harrisonburg, Virginia.

Sometimes I really wish I had taken a chance, come up with the money and gone to Bangor. Studying abroad is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but after looking into the program I realize that an MA won't be enough to pursue my goal to teach university. And if I hadn't been freaking out over the fact that I wasn't in school and desperately in need of writing experience I wouldn't have been applying to high profile fashion publications...to cut it short, I wouldn't be where I am today, and that's something I wouldn't change for the world.

Having said that, I don't want to stay in the Valley (Shenandoah Valley; my boyfriend loves to call me a Valley girl, but a lot of people read that as being from California, myself included). At least not long term. And being in a serious relationship, I don't relish the idea of relocating abroad where I'll at best see my guy four times a year and face a 5+ hour time difference. (que tears)

So, I've set my sights on a city a little closer to home. Where the lights are brighter, the fashion industry is literally) right at my doorstep, and there is a chance to take my cat without a 6 month quarantine period.



Yes, I'm perfectly aware that life in the Big Apple is no Friends or How I Met Your Mother, and certainly it's no Gossip Girl. But I also know that New York is the biggest spot in America for the fashion industry and for writers (double score!). Of course, a lot of this decision will be made on the Creative and Professional Writing MFA at William Paterson in New Jersey (which I'll be going to check out in two weeks).

I'll be honest, the idea of relocating to a huge metropolis scares me. A lot. But I'm in my twenties, and this is the time for me to take risks in life. I've always wanted the experience of living in the city before having children, and discovering my passion for fashion (sorry, had to use it) has made me think more seriously about taking the step towards NYC Life.

New Yorkers (and any of my lovely readers) - any thoughts?? Comment below!

Cheers,
Victoria

The Fashionista Perspective

Hello friends!

First news: after an exhilarating Fashion Month, featuring fashion weeks in New York, London, Milan and Paris, my internship has been extended for another two months!!! Three of my pieces from the end of the month were just published on Deux Hommes' site, and you can find them along with the rest of my portfolio here. :)

As I'm sure you have experienced, whatever you work in - politics, teaching, business administration - it usually spills over into the rest of your life. As a fashion writer, this couldn't be more true. And although the process might start at the root of fashion it quickly begins to promote changes which don't seem related to clothing or style at all.

Take today's schedule for example: I woke up at 6:30 to go for a brisk walk with my roommate, Caroline. (Walk, because being out in sub-freezing temperatures feels like we're burning calories just standing still, and because it's a great way to connect before starting on our respective schedules.) We stopped at a Starbucks before heading back, and then I showered and changed (belted wrap cardigan over a corduroy pencil skirt with black riding boots) before heading downtown for a coffee date with a friend of my mom's. After reconnecting for two hours or so, I went back home and looked over the images from a London Fashion Week show, as well as the designer's bio, for a review due this afternoon. On this evening's schedule is wardrobe organization and putting together the beginning elements of a fashion blog (which is how my editor at DH got her start in the fashion industry; you learn from the best, right?). 

Yes, this is probably fashion overload, and that's not even bringing into account my hour-long makeover/beauty instruction. It sucks you in, whether that job is fashion or any other profession. Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my internship (think Emily Blunt in the Devil Wears Prada "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job" minus the crazy hours and emancipation diet) and I love how it motivates me to work towards a future in the industry. I love that it's motivated me to work out and play around with different styles in my wardrobe.

But honestly, the best part of being a fashion writer is the ability to compose a review to further enhance each designer's creation. With each review, I have the opportunity to get inside the mind of the designer and put words to their designs that will spark the imagination of the reader. Describing Sandy Liang's line as "Wonderland spiced with a dash of NYC grit" or relating Honor Fitzsimmon's collection of knits to the Tunit people is something I never thought I could do with creative writing, and I love it!

October Weather and Fall Adventures

Hello readers!

So, I've been a little tied up lately. My internship with Deux Hommes ended with a four-article-deadline last Wednesday which left me exhausted for the next several days. But here it is October already, and I have yet to enjoy the standard fall things like hiking, apple picking and sipping Pumpkin Spice Lattes while exploring the downtown. (Actually I have had a PSL, though not downtown, and discovered that a chai latte with shot of pumpkin is even spicier and therefore, better.)

I love October. I love the colors, the chilly temperatures and the way everything looks before day light savings time ruins all our lives (seriously, someone should have figured this out already). I love how I have this whole beautiful month to reconcile with turning another year older because it's impossible for anyone not to feel like a child again when one of those breezes tosses the fallen leaves into a Disney-worthy whirlwind. Or not to feel awe-inspired when driving through the mountains and catch a glimpse of color-touched hills in the distance.



For me, the best thing about October is wanderlust. I experience chronic wanderlust all the time, but it's heightened in the fall. Maybe it's the unquestionable beauty of autumn that makes me want to just pack my bags and head off on an adventure. I'm not sure, but October makes me want to turn on a U2 soundtrack, featuring their song October, and drive across the country.

Which I'm planning on doing. Not right this minute, but I've always wanted to do a road trip from the East Coast to the Pacific, and now that I've roped a few friends into doing this with me I've started planning out a rough map based on different sites I want to see with my own eyes:

Chicago, IL



 To meet up with my bestie :) and to experience some fun night life

Omaha, NE



My boyfriend and I have joked so much about going that we can't not go at this point.

Yellow Stone National Park, MT



It's not all geysers apparently...

Glacier National Park, MT

 

Because how can you not?

Pacific Coast Highway, OR



The most beautiful first glimpse of the Pacific.

San Francisco, CA



To satisfy my longtime fascination and terror of Hitchcock's Vertigo. Giant sequoias are also mandatory.

Joshua Tree National Park, CA



Because U2 WAS HERE!!! And turn up the volume to blast The Joshua Tree while looking at this gorgeous landscape.

Any place I missed? Comment below!