So...what's my purpose in life?
I've been over thinking this question a lot these past few weeks, maybe because I just started my second semester of junior year and the end is finally in sight (like today I filled out my degree application. What? I'm actually graduating next year??) And probably because I tend to over think things anyway.
But this is a question that always comes up in life, whether you're 21 or in your forties. Is there a purpose to your life? How do you find it? And why does it seem like right when everything is going smoothly one little twist completely turns your world upside down?
Honestly I'm not sure what the exact answer is. Having said that, there's one thing I know what to expect: you're part of a bigger picture and what you think is the answer probably isn't.
Yeah. That sounds fabulous, I know. Even trying to view it from an adventurous point of view doesn't really help (because someone freaking knew what was going to happen in the end, right?)
Turns out Someone does. He's just not giving me any answers right now.
Or maybe He is and I'm just skewing it through thinking I know what I want.
A few years back, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I wrote a lot of lousy stuff that makes me cringe when I look at it now, but that was okay - I knew I was good (?) and that I would just write and life would be perfect.
Then - BANG. Reality hit.
People began telling me that I wouldn't get published right out of college and I should put that dream aside and do something practical with my life. And I listened to them; well, not really. I agreed to focus on a "real" career but I never stopped hoping that creative writing would work out.
Last semester I wrote "Loss", a short story about a girl, her cat, and a pretty muddled relationship. That was the turning point for me when I realized I could do this "impossible" dream. Maybe I'll have to go out of my way and do something that's not completely my thing, but that's okay. Because who knows what might in store for me?
So take risks, stretch your boundaries, but always stay true to your dreams. And maybe that's the ultimate risk, daring to do what everyone tells you is impossible.
Oh, and when things really look bleak and I have know idea what I'm supposed to be doing, I just remember these words from a guy who made his impossible dream come true: "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" (John Lennon)
:)
