The list doesn't exaggerate; writers are a weird lot. We feel things deeply, take inspiration from everything around us and write about it, and coffee is our life fluid. Being a writer I don't see these as negatives, but I also recognize the many cons to being a writer.
So here's my list of 10 Essential Warnings to Being in a Relationship/Friendship/Family with a Writer:
1) We're the most distracted people you'll ever meet.
The only reason I'm getting this blog written now is because my boyfriend conned me into doing it and is currently tormenting me with pictures of cupcakes. Writers put things off because they are distracted by everything. This means deadlines are a necessary torture we have to adhere to because we'd never get anything done. Distraction doesn't apply just to writing either. Writers will come up with the most brilliant plot twist in the middle of a very serious conversation about life decisions, which will no doubt infuriate the other person. It's not that we're not listening to you; it's just that there are a million thoughts going through our heads at any given moment.
2) We can flip between emotions unpredictably.
Sometimes we need space. Quite often, actually. But just as often we can't stand to be alone. There will be times when we demand silence because we can't hear ourselves think, and times when we blast the Lord of the Rings soundtrack on repeat because it puts us in the mood to write. I swear, we're not crazy (well, not that much...).
3) Sometimes we don't want to write.
You know those characters who can't put their pen down at any given moment and produce pages of beautiful writing like it's no problem? We hate them with a vengeance because there is no way we can do that. Sure, there are times when we stay up all night writing what seems to us to be an amazing storyline. But we go through days, sometimes longer, when we'd rather do anything but write. It takes all the energy out of us and we just need a break.
4) We can become depressed for no apparent reason.
Maybe it's because no one is responding to the piece we sent out to lit journals a month ago. Maybe we're stuck in a writing rut. Maybe it's because we've read a book so beautiful that we think we can't possibly reach that level of perfection. A lot of things can cause us to doubt our ability as writers and it can send us into a low point that seems impossible to break. (This, however, isn't okay. DO NOT let your writer sulk in an unending depression. See point 10)
5) We revel in and dream the impossible.
This is perhaps why so many writers love fantasy - we love the thought of dragons, quests and surviving in post-apocalyptic civilizations. This doesn't mean that all writers want to write fantasy, but each of us does have an impossible dream we want desperately to achieve. This can stem from traveling the world to owning a polar bear. Encourage all "impossible" goals your writer dreams of, but do emphasize the dangers of possessing a polar bear.
6) Our creativity isn't limited to writing.
Or at least we want to believe that. Writers will expand their creativity to dance, painting, sketching, music, photography, etc. This doesn't mean it's going to be good. But it's a great way to take a break from writing and allow our ideas to flow through a different outlet.
7) We won't always write about you.
If you don't turn up in our novel, it's not that we don't care. If anything it's because we care too much about you. It's easy to write about the people and the situations which have hurt us, but when it comes to writing about the people we care about, we are much more cautious. Writers tend to express their emotions through writing, and we don't want to hurt those we care about through our writing. (That doesn't mean that you don't inspire our writing though; it may not be in entire scene form, but bits of conversation and scenarios will come up a lot.)
8) We need a change of pace.
Sure, routine is great, but writers can easily find it restrictive. Sometimes doing the same thing everyday, day after day, can drive us insane and cause writer's block and other ugly things. We love doing spontaneous things to break up routine, from day trips and nights out to a trip to our favorite coffee shop (or the new one on the block if our favorite is part of the daily routine). We love the people who are willing to join us on our crazy adventures, and we'll love you even more if you plan the spontaneous trips with us.
9) We love constructive criticism.
Note: this does not mean tell us everything we write is terrible or judge us for what we write; there's nothing constructive in that. But we realize that not everything we write is publishable and we don't expect you to think it's perfect. That's not to say we don't appreciate hearing our work is good, but when you give a suggestion for a scene to flow better or ask for clarification it shows us that you actually read our work and cared about it enough to offer suggestions to make it better.
10) We need lots of support and encouragement.
Writers love deeply and are fiercely supportive of the people they love. But we also need a lot of encouragement. It's so easy for us to become really hard on ourselves, and just knowing that someone is at side is sometimes the only thing that keeps us going. We're going to love you so much for that.
So...if you think you can handle all of the above, go ahead and date your writer! It'll be worth it, I promise.
Cheers,
Victoria
No comments:
Post a Comment