I want to start with a New Year's wish for 2015, bestowed on us by the fantastically imaginative Neil Gaiman:
Be kind to yourself in the year ahead.
Remember to forgive yourself, and to forgive others. It's too easy to be outraged these days, so much harder to change things, to reach out, to understand.
Try to make your time matter: minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves, with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things, or time you spent waiting to begin.
Meet new people and talk to them. Make new things and show them to people who might enjoy them.
Hug too much. Smile too much. And when you can, love.
Looking back on 2015, it was an emotional ride.
When I began the concept for this post a few hours ago, en route from North Carolina back to Virginia, I couldn't see anything positive. I could only see the emotional challenges I've been struggling with, the realization that I haven't been kind to myself for most of this year. The fear of still not finding a job in my field eight months after graduating. The frustration of moving back in with my parents and the conflict of opinions that has ignited, both between myself and family and within my own mind.
Much of this has caused my long absence from this blog as I struggled to figure out where to go, both physically and in my life. I've been scared of allowing anyone to know what's been going on in my life. However, isolation (even an absence of writing) only makes things worse.
So, yes this past week has been hardest time I've been through in years. But this week doesn't define 2015, which has had its incredible highs to counter the low points.
I've finally discovered a confidence and outgoing personality I never knew was in me. I've used it in making new connections in the job market, which will hopefully pay off in the coming year!
Despite what I'm going through now, I have immense dreams for the future which, regardless of the current situation, I will always believe to be achievable.
I've become an alumna of University of Mary Washington, the best school I could have chosen for my undergrad, and am finally moving ahead with my love of fantasy writing (five chapters in, countless more to go).
It's cliche, I know, but the best part of 2015 was developing some crazy feelings for my best friend, being terrified that I might lose him if I admitted them, and discovering that he felt the same way for me. These past (almost) nine months have been extraordinary spending them with the most amazing guy in the world. I can't imagine a better highlight to this year.
And like all of you, I am so excited for the coming year and all it has to bring. Let's hope 2016 is a great one.
Cheers and love to you all,
Victoria
