It's going to be a while before you read this, and maybe even longer before you understand why I'm writing this to you now. Just think of this letter as what I wish someone had told me before I became an adult.
I look at you now, my precious, impulsive baby sister, and it makes me nostalgic. I remember when I was seven, when my biggest concerns were wondering what would happen in the next chapter of my Nancy Drew book. Or hoping Mum wouldn't notice the mess in my closet so I could go play at my friend's house. (Don't try to trick Mum by the way; she'll always find out, and as you know already, the punishments aren't pretty). When I thought about growing up, I dreamed of being a vet (because I loved animals) and of being an artist (because I loved to draw).
I didn't think growing up would hurt. I didn't expect the boys I liked to break my heart, and never thought that finding the right job would keep me awake at night. When I was seven, tears were meant for sad story endings and frustrations of not being able to make choices because I was too little to do so. I wish it had stayed that way. How was I to know that making my own choices would hurt so much? It was so much easier when Mum and Dad would tell me what to do. And nothing frustrates me so much as hearing "it's your choice." I know you hate it when I smile when you throw a fit because someone is making choices for you, but I wish I could be back there. I wish I could relive seven again because there is so much I would change.
But this isn't about what I wish I could redo. It's what I hope you will do as you grow up.
I hope you will discover your own dreams and fight for them. Never let anyone tell you anything is impossible because you can do anything you set your mind and heart to. If you suddenly have no idea what you want to do with your life, that's okay too. We all go through those moments. No matter how much you feel like you can't achieve your goals. That's when I want to believe even more in yourself, in your abilities. Remember, there are so many people who believe you can do this.
And when life doesn't work out the way you planned, it's okay too. I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but life does have it's disappointments. You might lose friends. You might not get into the college of your dreams. Your heart may be broken. When that happens, you might feel like life isn't worth going through. But you're not alone. I've been there. Our mom and dad have been there. It's moments like these when you'll learn who your true friends are. You'll discover what drives you forward when the boy you thought was everything walks away. As much as those moments will hurt, and maybe even crush you, you'll come out a stronger person who looks at the world in a different way.
You're a great girl who's going to experience amazing moments in the future. Sometimes, in trying to discover who you want to be you can lose track of the person you already are. It's so easy to be distracted by who your friends want you to be, but if these people are truly your friends, they'll love you for YOU, not for the person you think you should be. So trust yourself. Trust in the people who love you. Because they will always be there to love and support you.
If there was one thing I wish I could protect you from it's from letting boys break your heart. Yes, there are some great guys out there, but before you find them you're going to have deal with a lot of guys who will hurt you terribly. Even though they're not important, they'll make your life miserable. When you see that one cute guy talking to another girl, it's like he just pulled out your heart and crushed it. The worst part is knowing that this shouldn't hurt so much so you try to force a smile and pretend everything is okay. I know it's not. And even though it might make you feel silly, just cry it out. We've all been there and it's okay.
I hope you won't let this hurt shut out the good guys. I hope you'll keep holding out for the right guy. The one who stares at you speechless because he can't believe you're his girl. Who tells you you're beautiful more times than either of you can keep count. I hope you find someone who waits up with you the nights you can't sleep and who you don't feel like you have to hide your true self from. I want you to be with someone who you consider your best friend and who you can't imagine not sharing the craziest and most simple adventures with.
Most of all, I hope we'll be best friends in the future. You'll always be my first little girl, my baby sister. But I know we're going to have so much fun as you grow up. I can't wait to take you on your first sisters-only shopping spree and stay up late watching movies. I want to be the one you call up when life is tough and you need a shoulder to cry on. I can't wait to see you graduate from high school, from college and discover your own passions. I want you to have the best life in the world, and I want to be there with you through the best moments, the worst and the life changing experiences you'll encounter.
I love you, baby sis.
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