My Life as a "Mom"

I'm writing today's blog from Grit Coffee in Crozet, where I'm simultaneously career networking and babysitting my little brother and sister.

I don't mention Liam and Susie a lot, at least not enough considering what an important part of my life they are. For the past ten years (almost!) they have been lighting up my life with their smiles, adorable comments and little pencil drawings they send me.

Having a brother and sister so much younger than myself (Liam will be turning 10 at the end of October; Susie will be eight in April) has come with its own set of complications. I've babysat from the time I was fourteen, but the job is ongoing when two of the kids live at home with you. I have to monitor the music I listen to around them, check IMBD for parental warnings on the movies I watch with them (because ratings won't tell you everything you need to know), and I don't even allow them near the internet after an expletive popped up under the Doctor Who memes Liam was scrolling through online.

Yeah, I'm more than just a babysitter. Some days I feel more like their mom than an older sibling.

Part of it is the age difference, partly their adopted introduction to our family. Both came to us as babies, so my mom, dad, Colin and me are the only family they've ever known. My mom has always been a busy parent; between homeschooling and leading ministries through our church and community, she doesn't have as much time as she'd like to spend with Susie and Liam. Which meant I took on a lot of the responsibilities when I lived at home.

I was there when Liam fell out of his rocking chair at nine months and cut his chin, and was frantically trying to staunch the bleeding and hoping my baby brother wouldn't die while under my supervision. (Fortunately he survived.) I was there for the toddler fevers, temper tantrums and sleepy meltdowns, as well as their first times rolling over, riding bikes and watching Doctor Who (a decision I'm still proud of, despite hearing Whovian references every time we're together).

I guess it's because I was there for so many firsts that I can become really sad when I miss out on other big moments in their lives. Like Liam's first loose tooth. Susie's first day of school. When they call me to talk about discovering a turtle in the backyard or going to park after a school day I just wish I had been there.

I don't want to be there for just the big moments: I want to be there for all the moments. And I know that can't happen as much as I want it to.

So I live for these little moments like having one on either side of me in the coffee shop drawing pictures of cats and R2-D2 while I write. Because being their big sister, their second "mom," is the best feeling in the world.